Anxious Femininity Watch?
I was flipping through the radio stations in my car a few days ago, and almost puked up my green tea infused Canada Dry when I heard the following exchange:
Male DJ: "Yeah, ok, so the three dancers were, I guess, found with welts and bruises from being attacked by a paintball gun. The three exotic dancers were aged 28, 34 and 51. Uh..."
Female DJ: "Yeah! That's seriously like, the worst part of the story--"
Male DJ: "51 year old exotic dancer. So, is that the kind of thing where you hear that and go, "uhh....eeeh...." or, you know, "You go girl!"? "
Female DJ: (in mimicking, mocking tone) "Oh, you know, no! Cuz they're always like, 'I'm just working my way through college! I'm just working my way through college!' Please..."
Yeah, I'm gonna go ahead and go out on a limb and say that the worst part of the story is not the age of the dancer but that three women were just assaulted with fucking paintball guns on their bare skin. CHRIST! EILISTRAEE! I hate that we live in such a shitty society where women think all other women are potential rivals of a sort, and feel that this kind of treatment is exactly what strippers deserve--a sort of just punishment so to speak for their "slutty behavior."
I just read Candy Girl by Diablo Cody (love her!), about her stripper days in Minnesota, and gotta say I was appalled. Stripping is a HUGE ripoff for the women doing it. The clubowners are really nothing more than glorified pimps in my opinion--they're verbally abusive, the work conditions are a fucking joke, and they get a HUGE cut of the money earned by the dancers (To the point where dancers can leave and actually owe the CLUB money after working a long-ass shift). She wrote about various clubs she worked at (Skyway Lounge, Schieks, Deja Vu, Dreamgirls, as well as a stint as a peepshow "doll" at Sex World), and in every single one the dancers got the shaft, and were treated like shit by, oh, everyone. She talks about an incident at Sex World, while in her glass cubicle, a bachelorette party came in and had the following exchange in front of her:
"Oh my God oh my God, Michelle. There's a girl in there."
"No way. That's a mannequin."
"No, she's totally breathing."
"Oh my God."
"Oh my God!"
"Gross! What does she do? Do they just pay her to sit in there and read?"
"I know! I bet she's supposed to be dancing in there or something."
"She's not that pretty. God, I could do that."
"I dare you to go talk to her."
"Gross! I don't want to go near her!"
(from the book): And so forth. You're shit and I'm champagne, I thought to myself, straightening on the lip-shaped divan. I tried to shrug off the dehumanizing remarks, but girls aren't made of stone. I usually came home on Saturdays, fell into a fitful sleep of back-to-back nightmares and woke up in a blue funk. For the first time, I was losing hit points in the epic battle to maintain my dignity. Girls can be so mean.
I hate to sound even remotely reminiscient of Camille Paglia, but are we fucking ourselves, too? I've known my share of wretched bitches, let me tell ya. Makes me want to not be near anyone, male or female. :-( Thoughts?
4.19.2008
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6 comments:
I think women seem to always be far more critical and just plain mean to other women then a man could ever be to a woman. Women can really manipulate others emotionally. We know what buttons to push to be purposefully mean and if we want to we can really be awful creatures.
A little side note, I think that some of the meanest people I've ever met happen to be people I meet at church and most always other women. The church pretty much is the churches worst enemy when it comes to stuff like this. I must have missed the part in the Bible where it says, "Love your neighbor as long as they drive an Escalade, wear diamonds at least 2 carats big, have the latest fashions, live in a mansion, are a size 0 and their kids are perfect."
As a rule, I don't like women -- and it's exactly for the reasons Lisa states. In my experience, women tend to be more judgmental than men. (Including me, I realize.)
I've found that my closest friends are women, yes -- but men are so much easier to approach, to make small talk with, etc. It's harder for me to develop deep friendships with men (I do it, but not as often as with women) -- but strange men are much easier for me to handle than strange women.
I think I've read about this in the feminist blog-o-sphere. Women throw one another under the bus to score points with the patriarchy. Like maybe if you hate other women enough you'll get an honorary penis. It's bullshit, though, because in the end we all lose.
Ditto what Erica said. Twisty has some good reads on the subject, although you may need to dig to get at them: http://blog.iblamethepatriarchy.com
DJs, especially AM DJs are NOTORIOUSLY idiots to appeal to the lowest common denominator that unfortunately leaves out the higher, more complex denominators (we're probably prime numbers and they assume that "1" is TOO boring).
Math aside, I try to avoid talking on the radio as much as possible unless it happens to be the traffic report and I think there might be an issue with my commute. If I don't hear music, I hit seek or memory, depending on where I am on the dial.
I tried to write a post about this on another blog, but I ended up becoming too bitchy and couldn't remember enough facts to actually publish the post. It was called "Misogyny in the Morning". One radio station around here (107.7 "The Bone") seems to forget that they are using PUBLIC airwaves to broadcast thier shit, meaning its half female owned. They have the oh so lovely "Ta-Ta Tuesday", some radio exec's masturbatory fantasy about having a woman flash her breasts at men to "cheer them up in their daily routine." Sorry, but the LAST thing I need in MY morning routine (see, I have a job TOO) is to expose myself to some losers listening to classic rock just so they can "feel better". If they think that's acceptable, I'd rather dump some fresh coffee on their laps.
Yeah, I usually try to skip out on talk radio, too. I think they have a formula: "Average Male" + Bitch-ass Woman = Hilarity! I put quotes around average male because whenever I hear the guys talk they induce serious visuals of a guy, coming home from a grueling day of work, drinking a brewski with his stinky feet up, watching scuzzy tv. He also unabashedly has a subscription to Playboy and loves The Man Show.
A few years ago when I was living in Madison I heard the same formula talking one morning on the way to work. Bitch-Ass was calling Jessica Alba a "crybaby" because she was sueing Playboy for putting her picture on the cover, thereby insinuating that she was posing nude inside--which she had not. Or something. I don't know. It just disgusted me that Bitch-Ass thought she was in a position to put another woman in her place for being too hawt and having the audacity to think her body was her own.
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